My bike, the psychiatrist
My mind was feeling the strain of one of those days when the various aspects of my life come pushing in from all sides. So many responsibilities and obligations were beginning to pile up around me. Opportunities were presented with expectations from those offering and yet the future seems so uncertain it is hard to know what to grab hold of and what to let go.
I needed to ride.
I put on my POA Cycling kit for the first time, prepped my bike, and then pushed it out to the driveway. It was around 35 degrees, but the Hincapie leg and arm warmers had me feeling just fine. It might be cold, but the wind wasn’t bad and the sun was shinning. This could be therapeutic.
The ride could only last an hour because the beautiful redhead needed to head to play rehearsal and it was my job to watch the kids. So, I set out at a fast clip to get in an hour. That would give me time to ride to Cleveland Park, do several laps, and then home.
At first it really did feel great. I have to say, with my new kit, I looked pretty good as well! Before long, I was doing my laps.
That is when things changed. Once again my legs started to feel tight — just as they did the last time I rode. Then I found it hard to breathe. It was as though I was gulping in loads of air, but not getting much oxygen. Of course, the fact that it was nearly freezing might have had something to do with it.
To compound things, there was phlegm in my throat that I just couldn’t seem to clear causing me to not be able to get a good rhythm for breathing. I felt as though I had no power at all and was sputtering to a stop. This therapy was about to send me to a therapist!
The thing that was coming to my mind was the negative thought about how the time off the bike due to my surgery was putting me way behind where I thought I would be right now. How was I going to be able to compete if I was riding like this? I was going to be spit out the back and embarrass myself in my first Category 4 race.
Then I stopped to think. Why was I doing this? I enjoy racing, but I love riding. Race to have the opportunity to ride. Don’t ride just to stay fit for your next race. Just ride. If you do, the racing and results will come. With my competitive nature I have to make sure I don’t let the enjoyment of racing kill my love of riding.
I rode out of the park with a whole new mindset. It actually gave me a spring in my stroke and a calmness in my mind. I can only do what I can do. That is true on my bike and off of it. Do the things I love and let that passion enthuse me during those times when the going gets tough. Don’t beat yourself up when you sometimes get spit out the back.
Just keep pedaling.
Tags: Cleveland Park, POA Cycling, Training
I totally agree – I simply choose to run or ride instead of visiting a psy. I have some of my best ideas on the bike!!
Love this post. Even though I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m even thinking about racing, it completely sums up what being on the bike is all about. Who cares how fast you went? Did you have fun? Do you feel better (either physically, psychologically, or, if your lucky, both)? Those are all the questions you need to ask. As somebody who was kicked off the bike for health reasons for the past two months, I’m anxious to get back on and get that feeling once again!
This was a great reminder. Thanks for putting it all into perspective.