The bicycle has its place
Last night I had planned to go for a ride with a bunch of friends. It was going to be a hard to get there on time, but I was working with the family to make it happen. “You’ve GOT to get on the bike,” I was telling myself.
The Beautiful Redhead and Thing One were going to do aerobics together at 5:00. That would be about the time I got off work. They would take Thing Three with them and he would play with some friends as they exercised.
It was more problematic for Thing Two. He had baseball practice at 5:30. The plan was to drop him off at my office until I got off work. I would then take him to his practice and head over to ride with my group. The rest of the family would pick him up from practice on their way home.
Well, things were going according to plan until the severe thunderstorm warning came over the radio. The practice got canceled and Thing Two was with me at home at the time I was supposed to meet my friends. Granted, it was raining then and most likely no one else showed up either.
When the family was back together we sat down to eat something and the wife said, “Hey, we’re all here together, why don’t we watch a movie?” Glancing out the window I saw the rain was still falling, but was starting to diminish. Hmmmmmm, I could still probably ride… “Yes!” said the kids and the movie started.
Then one of my friends I was planning to ride with sent me a text, “I’m planning to ride at 7 PM.” I glanced once more out the window. Yep, it would be doable at that time. I looked back at the screen. It wasn’t a movie that was captivating me. Then I looked at my three kids and the family sitting there together. My fingers replied that the rainy evening had led to a family night and I wouldn’t be riding.
Then I started getting hit with guilt of not being on my bike. Not so much because I had to tell my friend that I wouldn’t be riding (though that was part of it), but more because I knew I was not showing discipline to train. Then I started feeling guilty about feeling guilt about not riding instead of seeing the time with family as a greater priority.
Sometimes you can’t win for losing — or lose for winning… which one is it?
I am resolved. The bicycle has its place. I have a desire to give my best to be as good as I can be with the time and ability I have. However, I will not feel guilt again about spending time with my kids and wife. Bicycle be warned. I will feel no remorse when I let you know that I need to do something with them instead of you.
Thankfully, I have a family that might not share my passion for cycling, but they do have a passion for me. They sacrifice to allow me to pursue this hobby that gives me health, confidence, and opportunities to stretch outside my comfort zone. Thank you Beautiful Redhead and the Things Three.
Tags: Family
Good post Jonathan! I’m with you 100%-the bike is very important in my life also, but I’ll never feel ANY guilt about putting my family ahead of a training ride! Family always comes first.
You did the right thing. Enjoy your family. We aren’t pros, so never feel guilty about having to reshuffle your cycling for your family.
Sacrifice is not about what you give up,but what you get in return.Those boys will remember their Dad long after the last crank is turned.You did good Happy Father’s Day Jonathan.
I second what you and everyone else say. But at least I tried…The bike may be the good guy in all of this.
I don’t have kids, and for me it’s running and weight training, but I definitely understand that! I’ve been there before. Two weekends ago, I strained a muscle, and I had to stop 2 miles into a run because it was getting worse. I just wanted to keep going, and I hated the feeling that I wasn’t going to be able to finish the run. I’ve also had the rain regret sitting on the couch when I normally run. That’s the worst!
Hey, Matt, I say if you have the chance to ride… RIDE! I don’t think you should feel guilty about riding when the opportunity is there. My conscience typically tells me when I’m making the wrong choice one way or the other.
The bike is an inanimate object. It’s what you do with it that makes it right or wrong.
Well, then we would need to get into the definition of “chance.” And that could be a dangerous conversation. I can make chances and I can take chances. Either way, I will “try” to ride;)
Moms struggle with this as well!!! I feel pulled constantly, however, I do know how my priorities line up! Working full time with a family makes me a master at scheduling a good ride! (Having good babysitters helps, even though it’s darn expensive!!)