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You don’t know what you didn’t have till you’re done

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

It is something that has been in the back of my mind for the last couple weeks. It was hard to put my finger on it, but it seems to have crystallized in my thoughts. It leaves me feeling nostalgic and hopeful.

It is hard to grasp what you are learning through an experience while you are in the midst of it. Often the lesson isn’t obvious until after you have the opportunity to look back. I find that is the case for me when I look back at this last season.

I think I fooled myself into thinking that I was over my June 2010 accident. The fact that I was so quickly able to get back on the bike and even complete the 2010 Ride for Mike only a month after ditching my neck brace gave me the illusion that I would quickly be back up the speed. Surely an off-season and some good spring training would get me right back up there.

It didn’t happen. It was a very frustrating racing season for me. There were multiple DNF’s and I didn’t race nearly as much as I did the previous year. I was mentally out of it and not positive at all. Sure, there were flashes of power and the data showed that I was physically close to where I was in early 2010 — the best months of my life on a bicycle.

First, there was the lingering issue of my hip. I rode through the entire season with hip pain. While my legs were putting out power, my right leg would fatigue. Over the last month, I have started to notice a significant decrease in the pain. My ability to hold an effort has also improved.

Not sure what has caused it. Perhaps it is the shift in focus from big power intervals to more tempo riding. Perhaps this has taken some of the strain off my leg and has allowed it to heal. Then again, maybe it is just that time has finally started having its affect. Whatever the case, I didn’t realize how much of an influence that pain had on me until it diminished.

Second, there is a difference between strength and power. Power is what you can apply to the pedals to make the bicycle go. Strength is the ability to sustain that effort. I was able to return to the same power numbers pretty quickly. However, I just didn’t have the strength to maintain it.

This year I would go out to do intervals and I could match the same intervals as the year before. The difference was what happened after the interval ended? In 2011 I was aiming for the end of the interval. My guess (looking back) is that the big difference between 2010 and 2011 was that in the earlier year, I could have done much more with the time following the interval than in 2011.

It is just a feeling. Fact is I feel stronger right now than ever before this year. I feel like going out and doing an FTP test just to see if the feeling matches reality. The questions that swirled in my mind during the season are settling down. I’m not questioning my strength anymore.

Last, I’m just feeling much more comfortable on the bike. I realize now just how stiff I was on the bike. Now I’m finally getting my hands out comfortably on the tips of my hoods with my back flat. I’m able to bend my neck without becoming so quickly fatigued. My legs have a feeling that it is a supple power I’m producing instead of a chunky kind.

Again, had you asked how I was doing during the season, I would have told you that I was back. Now I realize just how much I wasn’t. It is a good feeling.

I realize this might all just sound like crazy talk to you. However, to me it is so clear. I begin to understand how a major accident can have long-term ramifications. Even when you think you have gone beyond it, there are lingering affects that just require the passage of time to bring you healing.

So, going forward I realize that 1) I should not fool myself into thinking I’m in some place that I am not. Don’t oversell yourself to yourself. Be willing to accept that you aren’t what you once were – yet. 2) I should look for the improvements. The diminishing pain, the flexibility on the bike, the suppleness of the legs — these are all encouraging signs. Look for more of them and focus on the confidence they bring. 3) I should focus on those things that allow me to improve – emotionally, physically, and mentally.

For now, I need to put racing out of my mind. Rediscovering the joy of the long ride, the anticipation of exploring a new road, and just riding my bike have helped bring back something I was missing. The fact that I am looking forward to the pain and suffering of the 2011 Ride for Mike is definitely a good sign!

What will 2012 hold? I don’t know. I’ll pedal over that bridge when I get to it.

Tags: Crash, Recovery
Posted in Life, Training | No Comments »

A 200 mile bike ride is a piece of cake

Friday, September 16th, 2011

I survived yesterday’s 2011 Ride for Mike training ride. Ends up that I rode 126.5 miles. That means that all told, I rode a distance of over halfway to Charleston. Of course, since it was an out-and-back, I only progressed 63 miles toward the coastal city.

I learned a lot! Some of it scares me. Some of it is encouraging. To be honest, I am more nervous about this ride than I was about last year’s 740 mile ride from Memphis to Raleigh. I know how my body feels after 100 miles, but I also know that I can recover for another day in the saddle. This 200+ mile ride in one day takes me into uncharted territory. Thankfully, yesterday’s attempt gave me some data to consider.

Here are my lessons…

Don’t use your phone wrapped in a plastic bag when you are sweaty

I love my iPhone. I enjoy using Cyclemeter. It gives my wife (and my office team) the ability to follow along with me on the ride. I also use the Google map option on my phone to help me stay on track.

At one point I was following a road and it suddenly ended as a one-way entry onto I-385. Hmmmm. I stopped to pull out my phone to see the map. As I tried to pull it out of the jersey from among all the gels and the extra water bottle, it slipped out of my sweaty hands. When I picked it up, my heart sank. The screen was cracked.

I put it out of my mind. I certainly couldn’t afford another one right now, so I would just have to get used to the cracked screen. (The phone still worked flawlessly.) I can’t just leave it there though. I did take the phone to the Apple store and they waived the $199 replacement fee, and I walked out with a brand new phone!

I’ll now be more consistent riding with my phone in its Otter Box.

The extra work of staying fueled really pays off

By the time I reached home, I was feeling that if I had to consume one more chew, gel, food bar, or liquid carb concoction; I would throw up! However, sitting here this morning telling you about the ride, I realize how important all of that consuming was. I don’t think I have ever recovered as well from a long ride as I did this one.

I can point directly to the fact that I fueled myself more consistently than I ever have. At 15 minutes into the ride I started eating. I timed my solid and liquid intake by keeping track on my computer. I will admit that toward the very end — maybe 25 miles out — I lapsed. I was just so sick of the stuff. At that point, I found I could take on the complex carb/Cytomax mix a little better. However, I did start to feel that little nudge of hunger that can alert you that you are about to bonk.

On the actual Ride for Mike, I plan to overcome this by having some actual FOOD available in the support vehicle. This will allow me to have a break from the typical stuff you have to use on a self-supported ride where space is at a premium. Plus, I realize that I rode from 8 AM in the morning until 4 PM in the afternoon without a lunch break. It shouldn’t be surprising that I felt a little hungry!

It is a lot easier going away from Greenville than coming back to it

People joke with me when I tell them that I am going to Charleston from Greenville by saying, “Well, at least it is all downhill!” Having made the drive on many occasions I know that isn’t exactly true. Especially when you go through Laurens and Newberry counties, you have a lot of rolling hills. BUT let me tell you, it definitely is easier going away from Greenville than back toward it.

Obviously, I will be rolling from around 900 feet above sea level to about sea level. A lot of that drop will take place in the first portions of the ride. On the other side of Columbia things begin to flatten out. By the time we reach I-95, it will be pretty consistent.

I was pushing the wattage a bit on the way out. Jim told me to ride as much as possible between 210 and 230 watts. When I reached Chappells (about 14 miles north of Saluda), I was averaging 231 watts. To keep that wattage on a downhill actually takes a good amount of spinning!

As I turned to start home, I realized immediately that it was going to be tough. It wasn’t a steep grade, but it was pretty constant. The downhills were shorter. To compound the problem, the wind had picked up.

Heading toward Saluda in the early morning, it was perfect. I had seen the weather forecast that said the morning winds would be around 5 mph. I was scared to see that the afternoon called for up to 30 mph gusts!

Well, coming back the trees had awakened. While in the morning things were nice and still, the trees were now waving back and forth with leaves letting go and swirling down on the asphalt around me. Only 80 miles in, I was starting to feel that I was in a battle. The grade and wind was beating up on me. Thankfully, the other force of nature that had been forecast never came. I remained dry all the way home.

Here is the good news. I rode over 126 miles (more than halfway of the 216 miles to Charleston) in 7.5 hours — including stops. Half of that terrain was harder than any that I will face in the full distance. Had I ridden that distance toward Charleston, I would have been just outside Orangeburg.

This gives me my plan

I think it is best that I break the ride up into three goals. 1) Saluda, 2) Orangeburg, and 3) Charleston. I am very confident that I can make it to Saluda in four hours. That will have me roughly a third of the way through. I’ll stop there, eat, and prep for the next leg. The Saluda to Orangeburg leg will be tough just because it is the middle one. I know I will start feeling the effort as I begin going beyond the century mark. However, once there I’ll know I have only a third of the way to go. The horse will smell the barn!

Yesterday was tough. I hadn’t ridden that far since last September. Maybe some people find riding such distances to be easy. I do not. My legs ached as I neared home. As I felt the aching, I realized that I was only “halfway to Charleston.” I would have to ride with that pain for as much time as I had already covered.

Still, that is what makes it a challenge. It is finding the will and ability to ride beyond the pain and into a distance you have never covered that makes the ride “epic.” It is also symbolic of the lives of the people for whom I ride. How much pain has little Rebekah endured? As I am trying to pull oxygen into my two well-developed lungs, I will be thinking of the struggle it takes for her to simply carry out common everyday tasks with her one functioning lung.

Suddenly, a bike ride to Charleston seems like a piece of cake.

Posted in Training | 2 Comments »

Today the bicycle is my office

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

In just a few minutes, I’ll be throwing my leg over the Felt AR and riding over to the Greenville Children’s Hospital. That will be the warm-up for the rest of my day. My plans are to spend 5 to 7 hours on the 2011 Ride for Mike route.

It has been a challenge getting in the hours I need to be prepared for the long haul in just over a month. Last week I spent 5 hours total on the bike! I’m not complaining too much because what was keeping me off the bike was good stuff.

I was supposed to do a long ride on Saturday, but my work schedule had me driving to Columbia for an event that took away my day. Well, Wednesday I realized that my Thursday was appointment free. I did my best to empty my mailbox and ask my assistant if there was anything outstanding I needed to act on. By the end of the day, Thursday looked like it could be my Saturday.

So, I am making the bicycle my office today. I’ll be heading out on the road about the time I would be firing up the computer in the office. It will be work that I hope will give me a good return on my investment of time.

I have two objectives:

1) test out some fuels along the way. On my last Ride for Mike my lack of an adequate fueling strategy really caused me a good amount of pain — and weight loss! I need to find some things I can eat on the bike and train myself in the habit of eating it regularly.

Various types of fuel I'll be testing

2) ride at a wattage of 210 – 230 (about 75% of FTP) as much as possible. Jim tells me that he knows I can’t hold this pace all the way to Charleston, but it is building up my “engine” and training this way will make holding a good average speed easier when it counts.

There are just two things I’m uncertain about…. 1) how far I will go, and 2) the weather. Saluda, SC is 74 miles away. There is a part of me that wants to give it a go, but that would end up being a 140 mile day. I’m pretty sure I’ll do a century, but not so sure how far beyond.

As for the weather, the afternoon is supposed to bring scattered showers. That isn’t so bad, but the 20 to 30 mile an hour winds along with the showers could be nasty. At least I won’t be too hot.

The Beautiful Redhead will be on call to come rescue me should the need arise. I’m not expecting her to need to perform the rescue, but it is good to have her backing me up. I couldn’t do any of this stuff without her.

Well, it is getting close for me to “head to the office.” I’m wrapping up here and rolling the bike out. Maybe you would want to join me along the way? Just as I will do during the actual Ride for Mike, I will be running my Cyclemeter app on my iPhone. It allows you to follow my progress along the way. The link to the ride will appear at my Twitter account when I start it.

Tags: Ride for Mike
Posted in Training | 1 Comment »

Getting started

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

The children were out of school and I took the day off of work to spend some time with them. The day started out rainy and by lunch time, we were all getting cabin fever! It was time we all got out of the house. The kids went to visit their grandma (who recently broke her foot) and I headed out on the bike.

At that point the heavy rains had not arrived. I was disappointed because it has been so dry, I was hoping we would get a good soaking. Knowing how things go, I decided to go ride figuring that would cause it to rain. Kind of like washing your car.

Finding my way out of town on the 2011 RFM route

Jim had a plan for my day. It was more tempo riding. I was to do several 15 minute tempo intervals ending up with around a 2 hour ride. This kind of thing was starting to get routine, so I decided to use the session to start exploring the initial leg of the 2011 Ride for Mike.

I warmed up riding over to the Children’s Hospital on the Greenville Hospital System campus. This will be my starting point for the ride. Once there, I got out my iPhone and looked up the map. I hadn’t really studied it before hand. The map sent me down Grove Road to Augusta Street.

Once on the street I was into my first 15 minute interval. Thankfully, I hit every light green. However, I had to stop to check to make sure I was heading in the right direction when I reached Mauldin Road. Sure enough, the map had me getting off Augusta and heading out over I-85.

On the small screen I could tell I was supposed to go into Mauldin where I would make my next turn on Hwy. 417. So, I finished up my first interval, did my transition spin, and then started up my second interval as I approached 276.

I had to stop at the light and I looked around for the 417 marker. I couldn’t see it. So, I figured it most be on the other side of 276. The light changed and I got back up to speed. I kept going for several minutes and started feeling that I was going in the wrong direction. A quick check of the map and it was confirmed.

It was time to backtrack. Once again I went over 276, but the map showed 417 being right there. Finally, it dawned on me that 276 and 417 were the same there, but it wasn’t marked as such.

Turning right on 276 I soon found 417 angling off to the left. It was a bit dicey getting into the lane, but soon I was moving along at a good clip. At this point, I knew I wouldn’t have to turn again… or so I thought.

Soon I was going under I-385 and heading toward Simpsonville. I was finishing up my second transition spin at about that point. That meant I would be coming into town on Hwy. 14 trying to hold my 240 watts.

As I was riding, I could see where some storm clouds had passed through, but it didn’t seem to be too heavy. The rains at this point hadn’t reached me. It wasn’t until I reached Simpsonville that I started to feel some drops.

It was also there that I discovered that Hwy. 14 was shut down for some Labor Day activities. I had to make a detour along with some other traffic. This was playing havoc with my averages. So, I just tacked a bit of time onto my 15 minutes to make up for it.

I reached the Welcome to Fountain Inn sign in a steady rain. It was about an hour and a half after I left my house. So, it took me about an hour to reach that point — including my two detours — from the hospital.

Good. That was making pretty good time. Even with the multiple stops and easy spinning I was holding just under a 20 mph average. Plus, I was feeling good.

Turning around I decided to ride home focusing on my speed rather than wattage. I found that on the flats and a slight grade up I could maintain a 20 – 23 mph average comfortably. There were points where I had to climb and my speed dropped to 13 – 15 mph.

The return leg (which was a water soaked one) was very similar. The average speed was 19.5 mph at an average wattage of 153 watts. It gives me confidence that by riding to conserve energy, I can manage to get close to 20 mph without wearing myself out.

During the intervals, I had to push even downhill to maintain my predetermined wattage. The ride out averaged 222 watts. However, if all I need is an average speed, I can recover on the downhill.

All of this is starting to get me excited about the ride! As I was heading out down Augusta Street, I was starting to feel that charge you get when you set out on a great adventure. Soon, that feeling will be for real!

Tags: Ride for Mike
Posted in Rides, Training | No Comments »

Training for 220 miles across South Carolina

Sunday, September 4th, 2011

I’ve been planning my route for the 2011 Ride for Mike. I’m following the same approach as I did for the 2010 Ride for Mike. Last year I used Google Maps to plan out a route. It worked great last year, and I’m hoping it will come through again this year.

Google Maps is a pretty good tool to use for this sort of thing. With the Streets View feature, you can actually follow the route — not only as on overhead map, but visually as though you were riding along the road. This has allowed me to find at least one section on my planned route that includes a hard-packed gravel section.

Somewhere near Pelion, South Carolina

I did get burned on last year’s route as I did not have Street View options for every road. In northern Georgia, I ended up on a water eroded descent on a gravel road and ended up with a flat tire. Thankfully, I’m not facing that again this year. All the roads along my route have images from Street View.

So, I know that if I can make it to Orangeburg, South Carolina, I’ll have ridden farther than I have ever gone before in a single day’s ride. No doubt I can make it there. The big question will be how will I feel when I get there.

My coach is trying to work with me to ensure that I will roll into town feeling the best I can. He is using tempo rides to make it happen. I’m also training myself to be more conscious of my calorie intake while on the bike.

I’m finding it hard to get the hang of the tempo training. I’ve trained with intervals for so long, it is hard for me to hold back. My mentality is always to “ride to failure.” You can’t do that when you are riding tempo.

Each ride now has me going steady for an hour or more at 240 – 280 watts. Jim would prefer me to do even longer distances, but my work schedule right now just won’t allow it. I may have to take a couple of vacation days to plan for some longer days in the saddle.

What Jim is trying to do is get my body to find a rhythm that I can sustain for an extended period of time. The goal is to have it become second nature. When I’m not thinking, I should be spinning along at 90 to 95 rpm at around 240 watts.

One thing that is working in my favor is the terrain I will be covering. As I’ve been following the Google Maps route, I’m seeing a lot of flat to gently rolling roads. Even if I average a speed I can typically manage here in more hilly Greenville, I’ll have the worse case scenario of a 14 hour day.

I really do believe that I can manage a 20 mph average. That would have me spending 11 hours in the saddle. I’m laying it out there right now… I’m not above motor-pacing to help keep the average!

My approach is simple. Ride the first 130 miles as best I can and then hang on for the last 90. It really isn’t a matter of WILL I finish, it is just a matter of how LONG will it take. I figure I have 18 hours to finish the ride on October 24. If I have to, I’ll use all of them.

With the help of my friends, coach, and the Beautiful Redhead, I’m not thinking I’ll need that much time.

Please consider giving to the 2011 Ride for Mike. We are currently at $550 raised. Who will help us break past the $1000 mark? You can make a pledge to give your tax deductible gift at the pledge page.

Posted in Events, Training | No Comments »

Whose legs are those?

Friday, August 12th, 2011

The rain that washed over the neighborhood only an hour before was now a dream. The roads were once again dry. Better than that, the air was cool — or at least not as warm.

Sunshine Cycle Shop finished up getting the Felt AR back into road bike form from its time trial iteration. It was a different feel as the bike rolled down the drive to do its work during an interval workout on Piney Mountain. The differences between it and the Giant TCR Advanced are more noticeable once you use one or the other for an extended period of time. The TCR is like a sparrow nimbly darting here and there. The AR is a hawk swooping down in a power glide.

As for Piney Mountain, it isn’t really a mountain. It is a sizable hill. It is definitely nothing to sneeze at while pedaling an 18 pound bike up it eight to ten times at over 400 watts.

That is what showed up on the TrainingPeaks iPhone app. Fifteen minutes of warming up. Then it would be time for 8 to 10 climbs at 350 to 400 watts up to where the road flattens. In between each effort was to be a 5 to 7 minute recovery. Finally the intervals were to be followed by fifteen minutes of cool down.

How to approach it? Should the pedals be turned at a high cadence or should the muscles be called upon to cry uncle by pushing a low cadence? As the AR rolled past the starting line – a marker signifying the end of small bridge – the pace was determined. The computer showed 110 rpm at 350 watts.

Of course, that didn’t last all the way to the finish. The revolutions per minute dropped into the 90s and the wattage climbed at times over 500. The first interval went into the data bank with a 430 watt average at 103 rpm. The data showed the max cadence at 134 rpm up the 5% grade.

Now the objective was to repeat that at least 7 more times. One attempt after another rolled under the wheels. This was starting to be fun!

The wind which seemed to be cooled from a distance rain was a refreshing welcome at the top of the hill. The recovery ride lead over the hill to the gate leading into George Hincapie’s community. His house was slightly visible among the trees on the highest point of Piney Mountain.

After turning around at the gate the recovery route continued following the road back down to the intersection of Pleasantburg Drive (Hwy 291). It was shortly after 5 PM so at times lines of cars would make the turn onto Piney Mountain Road as they took a short cut over to State Park Road on their way home. There was also one cyclist that looked as though he was starting out on a ride that would take him over Paris Mountain. A few moments later another cyclist was coming down Piney looking as though he had already ridden over Paris Mountain!

Do you ever have those moments when you are riding and you look down and get mesmerized by the rhythm of your legs moving up and down? The whiteness of winter is long gone replaced by the brown of hours of riding in the sun. Your quad muscles are swelling from the effort.

It is almost as though you are detached from them. They are merely engines propelling your vehicle forward. They would keep spinning even if they disconnected from the signals of your brain. The thought crosses your mind, “Whose legs are these, anyway?”

That is when training is fun. Even the oxygen depriving final few meters of an effort brings a smile to your face. You are a machine. You can do anything!

Time was passing. It was time to get home to watch Things Two and Three while Thing One and her mom went to her school’s open house. Time to do one more interval to the top – no high cadence on this one. Click. Click. Click went the SRAM shifters as the chain dropped to a smaller ring on the rear cassette. No need to look at the computer. The numbers would show up later.

The top approached and it felt like a launching pad to the sky. A steady 550 watt effort to the finish at 75 rpm — standing all the way. Done – a workout with a feeling of accomplishment. The perfect medicine for rider questioning his abilities.

Tags: Piney Mountain
Posted in Training | 1 Comment »

Just ride your bike

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

Sometimes I can get a little melodramatic. I think it is something that comes with a good imagination. It can actually be helpful when it comes to writing, but isn’t always best for living in reality.

I imagine myself being an above average racer. It isn’t that I think I’ll be up there challenging for a bunch of wins. However, I do visualize myself being a mover in breaks and a consistent top-ten finisher.

More than that, it has been my desire to “fit in” — be accepted as a player in the peloton. It really isn’t that hard to look the part. Finding my way onto the POA Cycling Team certainly didn’t detract from the perception.

The reality has been something different. After a breakout year in 2010 when it looked like I could be a force to be reckoned with, everything changed. I found myself being a non-factor in most races. I was unable to do anything significant to help advance my team. There were times when I even made mistakes that hurt my team. As for personal success, that has been quite a ways in the past.

On top of that, in 2009 I had gotten a reputation for not being able to keep my wheels on the ground. Most of that was undeserved since I was typically a victim. However, my horrendous crash in 2010 seemed to cement it.

This year I was getting quite proud of myself. I had not crashed and have been able with bike handling to avoid a number of mishaps around me. While I haven’t had the finishes that I hoped for, I at least have avoided finishing on the ground! Maybe with a clean season, I could put the reputation behind me.

Then Saturday happened. Do you know how embarrassing it is to just fall over on your bike about three feet from the start line? That, my friend, is what you call a “rookie mistake.” It was a definite punch to my ego and my melodramatic tendencies kicked in.

I slunk back to my car that Saturday hoping that I wouldn’t see any of my team mates. I told myself that the next time I showed up for a race – whenever that might be – I would participate in my Low Cadence kit instead of the POA colors. It would be my way of doing penance for bringing disrepute on the team.

It was then it hit me that I definitely was not having fun racing anymore. The reason why was because I was racing for the expectations of my imagination rather than grabbing a hold of the moment and enjoying it. Bottom line is that I have been making my success or failure WAY too important for a weekend warrior.

I’ve determined that I am going out tonight with a different mindset. I’m not going to go there pushing myself to live up to my imagined perception of myself. My goal is to go out there and let the race come to me. I’m not going to ride to avoid mistakes. I’m going to ride to participate.

If that approach lives up to expectations, then great. If it doesn’t, then – hey – I am who I am. Somehow, I have the funny feeling that if I ride that way, I’ll have greater success than I would otherwise.

Perceptions be hanged. Just ride your bike.

Tags: Racing, Training
Posted in Life, Racing, Training | No Comments »

Love or Obligation

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Last week I watched the page views for the blog tick pass 200,000. It gave me a moment to pause and go back to the beginning — back before LowCadence.com. It also caused me to take a time-out and reassess where I am today.

Since 2005, I have posted to either StackOfStuff.net, GreenvilleOnline.com, or LowCadence.com over 2000 times. Combined, the page views have exceeded 400,000. To be honest, I’m surprised that I have managed to continue for so long with only small breaks along the way.

That pretty much describes my relationship with the bicycle over that time as well. Actually, I would never have thought I would be doing the things I have done back on that day my wife encouraged me to get back on my mountain bike. It has been a time of love, hate, sweat, triumph, failure, elation, suffering, pain, confidence, questioning… and any other number of descriptors from life. Indeed, it is as though the bicycle gives you an opportunity to magnify both the weaknesses and strengths of “normal” life.

Something has changed inside me though. I look at my “numbers’ and they are as good or better than ever. According to my coach I “have what it takes.” He follows that up by saying, “Now it is time to use it.” My problem is I don’t seem to have the same drive to “use it” as I once did.

Take last Thursday for instance. My numbers said I should have been right in the mix. However, I struggled mentally to find my place. That was compounded by watching my teammate go down right in front of me and then narrowly missing another crash.

I don’t ride with fear. It is amazing how you can ride through a near crash – or even crash – and then get right back at it. No, it is more of a calculated assessment.

I lined up for the 1-2-3 race right after the Masters race. My coach told me to do so. As I waited for the official to call the start, I thought ahead to the next 45 minutes. Here were some fresh young guns including at least one continental pro. I was about to set myself up for suffering and potential pain — for what?

We started off and the fire never came to my belly. Ten minutes in and I could see my family sitting up on the top of a hill watching me race. Just sitting there watching me hanging out in the final third of the field.

We came around the final two sweeping turns of the course and I wound it up. Let’s see how long I could stay off the front and then call it a day. I quickly moved up toward the front and as I moved into the top 10 I could see a rider starting to attack on the opposite side of the field. We both broke through onto the front at the same time just as we passed the start line.

As we were doing so, Blair was yelling, “Prime on this lap! Prime on this lap!” Great. That was just what I needed about the time I was trying an attack. Still, I kept the hammer down.

The two of us soon caught two other riders who had attacked right off the bat. I didn’t slow and went right around them. As I passed, I could see they were reacting to get on our wheels.

About halfway, we started the little climb back onto the main track and I noticed a wheel coming up near me. As we crested, that wheel was joined by others. I had been caught. By the time we reached the chicane, the field was all together. Coming out of the turns, I have to admit, I glanced up to see my family and wanted to go home.

Some will say I should never pull out of a race – unless pulled off the course by the officials. Some will say that I just don’t have the competitor’s spirit. Some might say that I gave up too easily. Maybe all of that is true.

The question I have to ask myself at that point is does it really matter what “some” say? Paul Sherwen commented recently during the Tour coverage that the reason the professionals race their bikes is because they love it. Only love is what makes them go through the suffering.

Do I love the bike? I guess because I pause to answer the question that probably means I don’t. Perhaps right now I am more “in like” than “in love.” Or maybe it is all the structure of training and racing that has turned love into obligation.

I actually enjoy training. My coach tells me I am a hard worker. I like being given a goal and trying to meet it.

I love getting on my bike and exploring new roads. I love those times when I am riding the bike and don’t think about it. My mind is solving some problem or dreaming of a new idea while my legs automatically move me along.

I enjoy racing — when given freedom to try and fail. The thing that weighs most on my mind is not pulling my weight for the team or getting in the way. It was much easier when I was racing alone. I knew what to do and if I failed, I didn’t let anyone down but myself.

Still, one thing I have learned over the last six years: things change. Like a batter in a slump, sometimes you just have to keep swinging until you come out of it. Right now, I’m must looking for that one good hit.

Tags: Motivation
Posted in Life, Racing, Training | No Comments »

Just keep swimming

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

The swamping feeling is back. On the tides of time the flotsam and jetsam of tasks and engagements wash up against me threatening to push me under the waves. It isn’t that every moment is a crowded patch of the sea. Sometimes I’m swimming smoothly along until I look ahead and see a conjunction of currents through which I know I must pass and it looks nearly impassible.

Okay, so it's not that bad!

The stupid thing is that much of my issues revolve around the actually unimportant topic of my bicycle. It isn’t that the act of riding my bike is causing stress. It is the act of finding an opportunity to get on it that is playing a part in my angst.

Work is going relatively smoothly. I am in that stage where I am working toward future events and doing some research into board management styles. There really isn’t much stress going on from 8 AM to 5 PM — that is until I start thinking about what happens after I leave.

Tonight I speak to some kids at a midweek meeting at my church. Tomorrow evening I am supposed to take my son to baseball practice. Friday evening he has a game — and I potentially have a work conflict with that. Saturday there is more baseball and time to head out of town to visit my parents for a week when we will celebrate their 50th anniversary.

There are other things going on that don’t need to find their ways into a blog about cycling. Suffice to say they can’t be solved simply by rearranging a schedule. Really, they are things that can only be rectified with patience and faith. However, they weigh on my heart and mind and color my views of most everything else.

So, I look at TrainingPeaks and see that my coach has assigned a two hour steady state tempo ride. When am I going to do that? For that matter, when am I going to get on the bike any evening this week?

“What’s the big deal?” you ask. Let me try to explain. Training is like putting water into a bucket with tiny holes in it. There is a certain rate at which you can add water to the bucket and you can actually overflow the container. That is when you peak and you find your form. However, it can be discouraging when you work hard to bring the cups of water to the bucket and just as you reach the brim you trip. The water spills on the ground instead of into your bucket. By the time you get to the water source, refill your cup, and return to the bucket you find the water level has lowered.

This season has seemed to be filled with these exercises in frustration. I have yet to see the bucket overflow. I’m really starting to wonder if it ever will again.

The good news is that I am slowly nearing the brim. I guess it is a kind of two steps forward one step back kind of season. I’ve watched my CTL slowly inch its way upward.

Another wonderful piece of news is that the changes I made to my bicycle have really made a difference in my hip pain. It is not gone, but is diminishing with each day. Now there is merely a dull reminder of the pain that used to be ever present.

Perhaps that is really the most frustrating thing of all. In many ways, things are coming together. I can see through the debris ahead to clear waters beyond. I’m so close and I’m swimming as hard as I can, but as each stroke produces a cavitation the odds and ends are being sucked closer and closer.

I guess I just need to remember the advice of Dory in Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming!”

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Lazy Days

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

After finishing up the race weekend, I took my Felt in for a work over at Sunshine Cycle Shop. I hadn’t ridden it quite as hard up to this point and it was time to get my front wheel true and make sure things were working correctly. As it turns out, I almost waited too late!

Can't believe I raced on this over the weekend!

I was asking the guys whether they thought I needed to have my front wheel trued or if I was being too picky about it. It was then that Bob pointed out my rear tire. “Well, what are you going to do about that?” He said while poking at the rubber.

There was a large bald spot several inches long where the outer rubber had worn down to the inner casing. It must have been pretty thin when I started the weekend, but I never noticed it until Bob pointed it out. Whew, that was a close one!

Leaving the bike there gave me a chance to take out my Giant TCR Advanced. It had been hanging in the basement waiting for me for over a month. What a pleasure to have such an awesome back up bike!

A beautiful evening ride in River Falls Park, Greenville

It is definitely a different feel. I do find that I am more comfortable on the Felt AR. However, the next time I decide to do a PB attempt up Paris Mountain, I’m going to use this bike. It is about a pound lighter than the Felt, but more than that it just feels like it darts about — it makes me feel like I can as well.

The only thing I was hesitant about as I rolled the bike out onto my drive was the iBike power meter. It had been quite awhile since I had ridden with it. I was afraid that it would end up not pairing with the cadence and wheel sensors. It did right away and not only that, my Garmin Edge 500 also recognized the iBike immediately.

Before I knew it I was up and rolling for my lazy ride. My coach has me taking a couple days just taking it easy before the Thursday evening events at the BMW Performance Test Track. I’ll be doing some Masters crit/circuit racing with the St. Francis Sports Medicine Summer Race Series put on by the POA Cycling Team.

My legs are starting to feel happy. I know things are looking up when I have to force myself to ride along at the wattage determined by my coach. These lazy days get me looking forward to the work ahead.

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